I loved being able to do what I wanted, go where I wanted to go and think what I wanted to think. So when I had my children I took the same stance. I think I gave them a strong foundation but did not impose my will or control on them.
When Taylor was sixteen she wanted to move out of the warehouse and across the bay to live in Berkeley...with one of her friends in her parent's house. I said sure if that's what you want to do. When Taylor graduated from Berkeley High she got accepted to a University and I moved her in but after three days she said it wasn't for her. She wanted to take some time away from school, get a job, make some money, have some fun. I was ok with that, I thought it was a good idea.
She took a year or so off and one day she tells me her and her two friends are going to move down to Santa Barbara and go to school. I thought it was great idea. She didn't have money or a means to it and I didn't give her any. They wanted to live in IV. Probably the most outlandish little party town you can even imagine. IV
She did it up big down there.
After a couple years there she moves back to the bay to finish up here.
Today she graduated....on her own with no financial support from me...and no debt period. And while since moving out we have talked on the phone several times a day and while I offer my thoughts and feelings on her decisions I try not to force her in any way. It's her life to live, not mine.
Tonight we're going to dinner and I'm bringing one of my good wines. It's vintage year is the year she was born...1987.
Taylor, congrats on creating a vibrant adolescence on the way to adulthood. There's never any rush, but you know that. The cum laude part works on several levels--and you are to be commended.
ReplyDeleteAnd congrats to your brother and mother for being part of you.
And well, your dad writes an incredible testament about his deliberate fathering delivered with the touch of a man walking the desert. I've been lucky to admire him my whole life.